Walkin' A Tenth of A Mile...

in Ryan's shoes! Whew!! What a week it has been... After the kids got sick, I got sick. I figured it would turn into the croup that kids had, but it appeared it was just the common cold. That is until Sunday came around... Within a matter of minutes, my ear was giving me problems. I mean this was like a night and day thing - one minute I am fine and the next minute my ear is driving me crazy (really crazy)...There was no easing into it, it just happened. So, I go into the clinic and the nurse tells me that my ear is extremely red... Figuring it is an ear infection, I get my antibiotics and go home... By that night, I can not hear anything out of that ear. After five days of not hearing anything out of my ear, I return and am now on another round of stronger antibiotics. I have no idea how to describe the noise that I am hearing in that ear, except to describe it as a "white" noise...It is extremely annoying especially when I am out in public with all of the background noise - I have had a hard time assessing my voice level and thus have been whispering without knowing - Mike was beginning to think he had problems with his hearing. Thankfully, the family is being very patient with me. I have to say that although it is very frustrating and annoying, I could describe it as a gift. Although this is not exactly what Ryan is experiencing, it does give me a little insight and even more empathy for the little fella! One night, I decided to try out his BAHA on the side that I am unable to hear out of and I must say I could hear and it was crystal clear!! The sensory overload is amazing...When taking a shower, I can hear every drop pounding my head - it almost sounds like rain on a tin roof (no snide comments necessary ;o) !). When drinking water, the sound is magnified and sounds like waves swishing...The chewing will drive you up the wall!! At night, I can hear every time my heart beats - that is especially annoying as it is not exactly soothing when you are attempting to sleep. I do not know if that is what Ryan experiences and I will probably never know as he has not known anything different nor does he have the language yet to describe for me what he hears. I can now understand why he is so loud even with his BAHA on and why he is especially loud at meal time. I can now understand why he sometimes has difficulties when out in public. I knew these things, but to actually experience them firsthand gives you a whole different perspective and understanding. As I said, this is probably no where near what life is like for Ryan, but God has granted me a little insight and for that I am so thankful!!

A Year!

Wow! Today it has been a year.... I remember last year at this time sitting by the computer waiting and wondering...What would my little boy's personality be like? Was he healthy? Could he hear anything? What does he like? Would he like Mike and Morgan? So many questions running through my mind. On the other side of the world, Mike and Morgan were meeting this precious gift that God had moved mountains to unite with our family. I can remember Mike saying (via instant messaging) that he was a chunk...It was later that night while he was peeling the layers of clothing that inside was really a much thinner child. Morgan recalls Ryan's screaming and crying as the orphanage officials handed him over to Mike. He also remembers Ryan bolting for the door determined to get away. I can remember hearing him making noises and yearning to be there to hold him! A year later, this child is so much more than we could ever have imagined and still God is moving mountains in his life! He brings a balance and joy that we never would have known was missing in our lives. He is a strong little boy that takes everything in stride. He still loves cars and trucks, but loves his turtle even more! He melts the hearts of those who meet him and is quite the adventurer. He has a gentle spirit and we have great confidence that God is going to use this little boy in mighty ways! How we can't wait to see his story unfold even further...We love you little fella - We wouldn't be the same without you!!